i just google imaged poop.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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