and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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