btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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