I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
