there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
