My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
