I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
