Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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