just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
