they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
