Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
