I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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