i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
