you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Are my feet made of real feet?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
