That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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