You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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