I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
