I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
