Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
