I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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