There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
