Just fell off a train. Bad.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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