not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
