I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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