It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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