you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
