My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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