Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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