Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
