so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
