this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My breasts were aching with rage.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
