I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just had sex bonerless
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
