im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
