he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we're making bets on your personal life
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
