therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
