He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
