I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize