my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
