i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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