the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
