ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
