I hate your face
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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