I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Randomize