I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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