I'm drive I can fine osifer
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
