I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
