Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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