oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
