i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
