i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
