You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
