Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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