I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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