I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
