he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it hurts more in the daytime
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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